NOTEBOOK

There is a tale of a writer who died and was allowed to choose between going to heaven or to hell. Cannily, she asked St Peter if she might tour both regions before deciding.  Led down into hell, she saw row after row of writers chained to desks, sweat running down their torsos, while demons lashed them with barbed whips.  "Dear me, let’s go and look at the other place!" Ascending into heaven, she met with the sight of row after row of writers chained to the desks, running with sweat, and lashed by demons wielding barbed whips. "But this is just as dreadful as hell!" "Oh no, it isn’t," said St Peter. "Here, your work gets published."

D.J. Enright, Injury Time: A Memoir.