Agony aunts aren't normally my favourite reading, but my eye was caught by Lesley Garner's latest Lifeclass column [not yet on-line, as far as I can tell]. It's a response to a blogger's description of "virtual reality bullying" at the hands of another member of her "online community". As I spend far too much time in the ether (despite cutting down since the New Year) I decided to go through the laborious process of copying out a passage. There's a lesson for me here:
The first thing I thought, as I read your story, was how absurd it was. On one level there is a "community" of people, talking to each other. On another level there is no community at all. It is just you in a room, in front of a plastic box.
... I know of no other remedy for this peculiar contemporary form of disillusion than a cold plunge into the reality of your own life. Internet contact is effortless and immediate in a way that walking out of your front door and attempting to build relationships with real people is not. Real life is like wading through treacle. Material reality demands that we have to make physical effort in the real, intransigeant world. We have to find real people and spend time with them. We must go out on cold nights and take buses and risk running out of conversation because we have to fill real time and not just spend little snippets through cyberspace when a good line strikes us.
My people skills have always been erratic. They've probably grown slightly worse since I started blogging, especially as I prefer writing to talking to individuals I don't know too well.
CORRECTION: It is on the web site after all. Go here. I made the mistake of trying to Google it up instead.
Yes, there is a lesson here, but I don't think you should should take it too far. It's obvious that you appreciate the drawbacks of online communication and value balance in life. Why else would you have written this post?
Posted by: Jonathan | Friday, February 23, 2007 at 12:26 PM